I don’t need to suddenly standstraight up when I’m under the coffee table.8. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur beforeentering the house - not after.9. I will not come in from outside,and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.10. I will not sit in the middle of the livingroom, and lick my crotch11. The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’,so when I play with him and he makes that noise,it’s usually not a good thing.P.S. Dear God:When I get to Heaven,may I have my testicles back?Some Random Thoughts... Someone Just Honked to get me out of my parking spot faster so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.So I was at the bar last night and the Waitress Screamed... “Anyone know CPR?”I said, “Hell I know the entire alphabet.”Everyone laughed... Well everyone except this one guy!Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up too!Unless you are in prison!From a friend of J & G.Three pilots “flew west” on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. ‘In honor of the. The pixie has to be baited out. You need a young man to do it, too. It can be a bit unsettling if the girl is a virgin. It can be very emotional for everyone involved, especially the parents. You need something sweeter than the nectar of a young woman to draw a pixie out. You need an aroused man; the sweetest part of an aroused man, if ye know what I mean. He puts himself inside her and when the pixie begins to sip on him, he removes himself slowly from her until the pixie starts to follow him out. Then ye grab it and pull it out the rest of the way.”Aengus corrected Finn. “He don’t have to be young but it doesn’t always work with an older man.”“You’re so full of it, Finn. You, too, Aengus. You had me going, I’ll give you that.”Kevin began to laugh at the joke they had just played on him.“So, the pre-cum of a man is the only thing that can make a fairy, sorry, pixie, leave an Irish lassies' faighin. That's a good one. Got another story to tell me?”The faces of Aengus and Finn.
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